Lalalalalalala

Since my eyes need a break from the boring-as-everliving-hell Pola Negri pictures I'm editing, and since I'm fairly certain everyone that I have regular contact with is annoyed-as-everliving-shit with me, I'm going to just perseverate here.

I finally got a response from Georgia! I sent them my background check over two weeks ago, and just touched base with them to let them know I needed to change my airports when I got this back:

So like. I guess those 18 words (not including the salutation or sign off) seem to be pretty self explanatory - the airport change was not, indeed, a big deal, and that I am, actually, in the program and they'll send me my contract after the 15th.

So I guess it's a yes? Is it safe to get excited about it? Cause I'm a little bit wary. I know their last email was just as vague, saying "You've made the short list of applicants, all we need now is your completed background check and we will send you your contract." But where is the harm in just confirming I'm in? Is a straight answer so bad? Is this a soft yes and barring someone better coming along late in the application process I won't get kicked?

The 15th is their cut off date for applicants wishing to leave in August. So there still is time for them to say "On second thought, we're going with this other person! Sorry!" But the "will send" in there kind of sounds like it's a definite acceptance. I don't know! I don't know, and I hate it, and all I've done since I got this is alternate between spazzily freaking out to my sister and friend about how I'm so happy to go and then backtracking and questioning it and my future and life in general. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get stabbed by some parties in Michigan and California...

Referring back to my post about superstition, I'm very, highly, ridiculously, stupidly apprehensive to feel slightly happy about this, despite the fact that I am actually quaking with excitement and all I want to do is tell everyone I meet, stranger or friend, that I am FINALLY going to be able to go to Georgia!

I've started updating my packing list again, which is just an Excel sheet to figure out how much money I have to budget on trip items. Thankfully, I've added many more practical things to it, like long underwear, a pair of sturdy sandals, a first aid kit - things that will, you know, make my life easier while overseas. The first items originally on it were three different types of Moleskine notebooks (I already have one of these but lovelovelove it so why not get a second; one that I actually bought the other day cause I was stoked I found it in a store and I was impulsive; the last kind just because it is awesome and I am a notebook whore), a 35mm 1.8 lens for my Nikon, a bomb ass Swiss Army Knife!, and, finally, a super sweet camera bag. And after those things were placed into their little A Column cells, I got a massive brain freeze. I literally could not think of anything else I needed for a year abroad. Now, none of these are remotely useful for survival in a foreign country (except for the wicked cool Swiss Army Knife!), particularly one that lacks central heating and has water with microbes that my gut is way not used to dealing with. So I had to stop and approach this from a very Darwinian angle. Subsequently, the list has grown considerably since becoming pragmatic about it and asking myself what I actually need for my continued aliveness - go figure!

I know what you're thinking. "Jobags, isn't your list a direct defiance of your apprehension and superstition, since it's kind of implying a stable plan and success in a desire?" Oh, it totally is. It's a blatant transgression, actually. But I am trying to not let my life be ruled by my silly head anymore, because a lot of times it makes me wig for no good god damn reason. This list is a baby step in ensuring that I can, one day, get over it and take things at face value without questioning it 30 million times. That email was 18 words long. How many subtle nuances are in there? The answer is a lot of them, especially if you're a think-the-worst type of person like I am. But all that mindset has ever done is make me feel insane, so I'm trying to stop. Most people use drugs for this kind of shit, so I'll just make spreadsheets. Lots and lots of spreadsheets. That, and the trusted Andronis Sister remedy of closing ones eyes, plugging ones ears, and saying "lalalalalalalalala" really loudly. Cause if I can't see it or hear it, it's not real, right?

InstaRage

I'm a little bit ashamed to admit it, but I use Instagram. One might say I am way too into it, as I am sort of unabashed about checking it 900 times a day. To be fair, I really dig following National Geographic, and most of the photographers who work for it that also use this social media platform. It's pretty awesome to be able to see test shots, and a small sample of the numerous amazing, unpublished photos that don't make it to the final printings. Plus, depending on the photographer, they will usually add a little description about how they had to wait 4 weeks to get the perfect shot, or talk about the kind of elements they had to sit through for hours all to get a timelapse. Or, in this case, the challenge of shooting a fairly regularly scheduled geyser with one of the first methods of photography.

It's pretty incredible, that wet plate collodion process. And it's wild to think that our digital cameras, which are capable of so much, came from the very basic, yet complex, medium format cameras from the turn of the century. After I converted my bathroom into a super janky darkroom so I could develop photographic paper shots out of the pinhole camera I made, I have a supreme respect for early photographers. Especially ones that were out in the wild, trying to capture bits of these undiscovered lands for themselves and others enjoyment. Do you know how hard it is to light tight shit? I mean, I had the help of aluminum foil - these guys had to carry around entire booths where they could prepare the camera, and then develop the shot immediately. Mad, mad, mad respect. 

As a quick semi related sidenote, I am also an internet junkie. One of my favorite things to do is read YouTube comments,  which if you've ever taken the time to actually read them, you know they're just...not really worth reading. But sometimes I get amused by various forums and message boards online where people feel the need to discuss things, so occasionally I will read the comments on Instagram.

A quick scan of the comments for this particular picture left me very irritated, so naturally I went digging for more. Amidst the praise and the awe most people had, a few comments stood out to me, so I've compiled them in one file. I've even been super nice and blurred out their names! Look at me being so diplomatic!

First off! Good for you and your point and shoot! Do you know how many people can sit at the scenic outlooks and snap a quick pic of it when it's erupting and it's going to look similar to that? Shut up.

Cool story bro? Seriously? Even if this guy didn't mean to sound douchy, and even if he legitimately thought it was a cool story (cause to be fair, it is!), those are three words that just drip with sarcasm no matter what when posted online. Shut up.

Take it with a real camera?!?!? WOMAN! He took it with an ORIGINAL TYPE OF CAMERA!!! WHERE DO YOU THINK MODERN PHOTOGRAPHY CAME FROM!??! Your opinions and your crappy bandana are bullshit, not this mans picture. Zip it.

I don't really understand how someone can be blase about our national parks. I really don't. Like, even the Grand Canyon, which is just a big hole in the ground, is fucking beautiful! And Old Faithful is unique, and is on a natural timer, and how can that not be as great as you thought?! It shoots out like 30 feet straight into the air! It's ridiculously cool! Are you upset that it doesn't sing Justin Beiber?! Is that why it wasn't as great as you thought? 

And finally, yes. It would have been faster and easier to just use a digital camera. But half the fun of photography is working with your camera, and interacting with your surroundings, and waiting for the perfect moment to actually take a picture. I still like to shoot with film on a regular basis, just because there's something really awesome about not getting the instant gratification of knowing what your picture looks like right that second. And when you only have a fixed number of exposures (in this guys case, 1!), you're more thoughtful, you plan and frame things out, you pause more. It's a completely different experience than shooting digitally. 

As Shepherd Book, from Firefly, so eloquently puts it, "...cause how you get there is the worthier part." That's what this picture ultimately is. Peter Essick could have used his ridiculously awesome DSLR to take this shot, and it would've been beautiful and an overall great picture. Instead, he chose to actually work for it, to make something completely unique and out of the ordinary, and have a far more memorable experience. 

The TL;DR of this post:

Don't read comments on Instagram because they are, for the most part, idiotic and just will make me rage.

Photography is awesome. 

My Superstitious Self

To quote Michael Scott from The Office: "I'm not superstitious. But I am a little stitious."

That pretty much sums me up. While I completely understand the lunacy of thinking that any of my actions or thoughts or words will ever actually change the course of events, there are some things I don't like doing.

Saying, "Well, it could be worse!" is one of these things. Because guess what! Shit always gets worse, almost IMMEDIATELY after uttering that phrase. "At least _______ didn't happen!" is another stupid thing to say, since whatever you fill the blank in with will, inevitably, happen. Unless it's winning the lottery. God forbid I win millions of dollars and can fix almost every single problem in my life!

So it's been filling me with a lot of anxiety that I've even TOLD people about my application with the Teach and Learn with Georgia program, because I feel like I've doomed myself from the start. And to be fair, it has been fairly clusterfucky from the get go. Telling my bosses and quitting my job and moving from California back to Michigan just to have the program be closed two weeks later? I'm fairly sure that had I just done the normal thing people do, which is quit their job without warning and leave everyone up shits creek, I would've been in Georgia for the last 7 months. And I know that's a crazy thing to say, but it really does feel like the Universe is just a spiteful bastard sometimes, and it's hellbent on making sure I feel like the rug will be pulled out from under me at any time.

Which again, is an insane statement. I get that. I fully recognize it. But there have been so many instances where it's honestly felt true that a part of me can't help but be superstitious about any possible plans, desires, or wishes.

I guess at the end of the day, one way or another, if I get the email saying "YES WE WANT YOU!" or "HELL NO STAY AWAY FROM OUR COUNTRY!" it will be nice to have some finality. I've been in limbo for the last year and a half (actually more, realistically, since I made the decision to apply for some overseas program back in 2010, and in true Andronis style I just kept putting it off and off and off with excuse after excuse after excuse), and I'm kind of over it. Because the truth of the matter is, that no matter how detached I feel from everything, I am, actually, slightly invested. I told myself over and over again while in California that I hated it, and the only thing keeping me sane was my car and trips to Disneyland. And although these two statements were pretty true at the time, I'm finding myself sitting here saying, "Man, I cannot wait to go back to _______."  I'm fairly done with not being fully THERE with the people and places around me. It will be a nice change of pace.

However, it's been what feels like an eternity for this email to come, one way or another, and while I'm ridiculously hopeful, it's starting to feel like all my optimism is just going to make the exact opposite happen. Just cause the Universe is a jerkwad.

Blurbs

These are just random things in my brain at the moment. In no particular order. Because it's a Wednesday. And why not?



Dear Cleaning Crew at work,
2:30 pm on a Wednesday seems like a weird time to clean the bathroom. But what do I know?
Sincerely,
Confused.



Unsure why, because it seems like a HUGE contradiction, but I'm sitting here, listening to Meshuggah, and all I want to do is watch some Bob Ross and paint. Does that make any sense? No.



Why is it, that no matter what kind of mood I'm in, when I hear "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen I have to sing obnoxiously loud and flail my arms around and dance? Like today, I've just felt...off...is the best word for this emotion. Most of the day has been spent just kind of "meh" until "Don't Stop Me Now" came on Spotify and all of the sudden I'm the fucking dancing queen (no pun intended). It's dumb how happy that song makes me. Also, I feel super bad for the office neighbors, cause I'm pretty sure I'm the most annoying person to be in this building in a long ass time. But I'm not 100% we actually have office neighbors? I never see anyone? So I guess until someone complains I'll keep doing my thing. Which is blast music, sing, and edit an unending stream of old photos. I'm going to have to write up a post in which I discuss my complete nerd love of old pictures. Well, photography in general, really. Cause it's the coolest.

Hilarity

I was talking a few weeks ago with my good friend, Karen. She mentioned that, with a possible upcoming trip overseas, I should start a blog. After reading a few reviews online, I settled on Blogger. Much to my surprise, it auto logged me in (thank you, Google!), and up popped my username, Bubble Infatuation. Now, some people might see this as a person who loves big ol' butts, and writes all about their love of big ol' butts, maybe even including some pictures of these big ol' butts. Alas, it is nowhere near that cool. Apparently, back in 2009, I started this to be a blog about Discipline priests in the video game, World Of Warcraft. I even went so far as to create a banner for it (as seen at the top). It was the height of my nerd rage, and I had a lot of opinions on the class, gameplay, and overall direction the devs were taking it. I also apparently felt my opinions were valid enough that I had to subject the world to them.

Thank goodness for everyone I'm over that.

So now this is just sitting here, waiting for an overhaul. I've changed the username, but I went so far as to arrange my add-ons in game so I could get an appropriate screenshot for the banner, so that's gonna stay. Also staying is the name, because even though it was originally made to reflect my adoration of seeing bubbles pop up all over the raid, thus protecting everyone underneath them, I'm partially a magpie in real life, and I do actually love shiny things. So, it all works out.