A Nice Chart

The dotted line represents my level of acceptance and tolerance for Georgian Boy Shit.

It's amusing, because right as I was making the y-axis for this graph, something happened. 

Ani, earlier tonight, changed the password on her Skype account so that Goga could not get online and talk to her friends. I think that's a pretty fair thing, honestly, especially because most Georgian boy interactions with people involve them just yelling or making really loud and obnoxious noises or banging their hands on something. Basically, as long as they can make a lot of noise, and get a response out of you, Georgian boys are all about it.

So Goga gets on the computer at his designated time (my host sibs get into a lot of fights about who gets the computer for how long), which is just after Ani has relinquished the device. She comes over and sits next to me on the couch, and I quickly hide my Photoshop activities because her English is good enough to see what I'm doing. She's very proud of herself for changing the password, and tells me so. About six seconds later, a dismal cry comes from Goga, and he grabs a pencil and throws it at her. She laughs as she ducks away from it, and laughs more as he grabs another pencil and chucks it in the direction of her head.

And this is where things really escalated quickly.

We went from the pencils, to the foot long metal tongs that we use to stoke the petchie fire with, to a chair, and then a stool, and then just fists and feet. My host sibs were throwing the chairs and stools, punching each other, kicking each other, crying the whole time, running around the room crashing into things, and then just screaming at each other. All the while, my host grandmother is yelling at them, trying to get in between them, hitting Goga on the back while saying, "BOY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING" and my host mother, serenely, gets up from the couch and shuts down the computer without saying a word.

Once that happened, Goga ran into the living room bawling, and Ani screamed at him more before storming, also crying furiously, into the bathroom which, subsequently, sports the only lockable door in the house. 

And I'm just sitting here now, asking myself, "What the fuck just happened?" What more perfect timing for all this shit to go down than when I'm in the middle of making a graph to deal with my wanting to choke my host brother.

Oh, life. You've a funny way of working.

But seriously. They really need to go back to school. I cannot deal with another week of them being HOME constantly. When it's just the three of us in the early afternoon it's alright. Not the best, not the worst. Ani and I have a good time, but Goga is an eleven year old boy who loves to harass his older sister, and he knows exactly how to push her buttons so that even a very pleasant moment of us making cookies suddenly turns into a screaming match in Georgian where I feel like they're going to kill each other. 

Goga is your typical boy, especially for here. He gets into fights at school, he laughs way too loud, yells about most things instead of just speak at a normal volume, cries when he doesn't get his way (like when he doesn't know how to do his math homework so he whines at Ani and if she ignores him he cries and starts throwing things at her until she finally gives in and does the equations for him. That happens all the fucking time and it is infuriating.). You know, all sorts of things that I hate when anyone anywhere from any culture does. 

He's also, this week, started to do the most annoying thing ever. It's something that my particularly crappy students do, and I cannot express to you the level of homicidal feelings it induces in me.  I can't help but think they believe they're being hilarious because they know how fucking annoying it is. It happens no matter what question you ask of them - "How are you," "How is your day," "What day is it today," "Do you like the color blue." Questions that they know. Questions that are posed to them every single day. Questions that, even if you ask in Georgian, they answer "Yes" or "No" until my coteacher screams at them to not be smart asses. 

I'm used to it at school. Not at home. Home is like my sacred space for non-assholery child interactions. Ani is hilarious and awesome and we get along great. I'm not super close with my brother, though, because Goga's English is not that good. He knows more than he thinks, and can understand a good bit, but he is nowhere near the level that Ani is. I always make sure I speak to him only in English, and I always keep it even more simple than I do with my sister, but this week he's really pushing my buttons. His response, to anything, is always, "Yes." Or, "No, no no!" 

Now, you might be saying, "Wow, this chick is just a bitch with children!"

No, I'm really not. I've actually got a pretty decent maternal side [sometimes]. I just really hate assholes. Unfortunately, many children go through phases of being assholes as they grow, so I'm naturally disinclined to like them. I don't discriminate by age or gender or anything like that - an asshole is an asshole and they really just make me want to punch them in the face. Do I feel bad that sometimes it just happens to be a fifth grade boy? No. I don't.

So a typical interaction for us will be something like this:

Me, sitting on the couch, mindlessly surfing around on the internet. Goga comes and sits next to me and just watches my screen.

Me: What're you doing, tough guy? (a really frequent question I ask him or my sister.)

Goga: Yes, yes.

Me:  What? That's not an answer. How are you?

Goga: Yes. ....No. No! 

Me: Shen "yes" khar? (sometimes when I phrase what the fuck it is that they're saying, in Georgian, they realize how stupid they sound.)

Goga: laughs and claps his hands loudly Fine, thanks, and you? 

Me: I'm good. notice him looking at my screen and trying to figure out what the weird nebula picture Hubble took is Do you like space?

Goga: points at the screen and then claps his hands all while yelling Yes, yes yes yes yes really loudly and laughing

Me: Wow! I like space a lot, too! High five! puts hand up for a high five

Goga: high fives and then springs up from the couch, making incomprehensible loud yelling noises of a really ear shattering high pitched frequency, while stomping his feet and clapping his hands and then waving his hands in my face before he backs up about four feet from the couch and starts doing random Georgian traditional dance moves. All while yelling.

I really wish I was exaggerating, but that exact scenario happened a few days ago, and the laughing and making loud noises part has been a common interaction between us for while now. The difference being the kind of shit I just described isn't very frequent - on average it happens maybe once a month. And I can deal with that. 

What I can't deal with is this shit happening every.single.day.this.week. He's like a bored puppy. He's just been sitting around the house and has all of this energy and the only way he seems able to get rid of it is by being an asshole. His level of douchebaggery has skyrocketed over the last few days, and all I want to do is punch him in his smug little face.

I think I'm extra annoyed by my host siblings skipping school because it means they're always HERE. Normally, after school, I get a few hours of quiet time to myself. Time where I can put on some music and drink some tea and draw or read or write or do whatever the hell I want. It's wonderful. It's oftentimes my favorite part of the day because apparently I'm an antisocial bitchzoid. So this week has been extra taxing on top of the increased levels of Georgian Boy Shit that my brother is exuding. 

I love my host family. I really do. They're really great, and funny, and have been nothing but fucking wonderful with me. However, if my siblings do not go back to school next week, I will probably kill them. Or go insane and run out of the house laughing and ripping my hair out. Either way, it won't be pretty. So let's all hope that next week brings warmer temperatures, yeah?