I mainly just felt like putting a pretty picture on here.
Did I say pretty picture? I meant weird mountain planet thing I made from Svaneti.
Monday, July 14, 2014
An Update!
Ha. Just kidding. This will so not be counted as an update.
I mainly just felt like putting a pretty picture on here.
I mainly just felt like putting a pretty picture on here.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
I'm a Duck
On the top of a hill there was a small pool left after the rain. A duck flew up there, and settled near the pool. A frog made friends with the duck; they lived together and had a very pleasant time. When the sun grew warmer, and the summer days grew hot, the water in the pool dried up little by little; so the duck said to the frog, "Let us find another place to live in." The frog replied, "You are accustomed to knock about the world, but I cannot leave the place where my forefathers lived." The duck flew away to a spot where there was plenty of water, and the frog stayed in its native place. By and by the duck said, "I'll go and see how my brother, the frog, is getting on." When the duck alighted near the old pool it was already dry and the frog was dead. Seeing all this the duck said, "Ah! Brother, it appears, it is better to roam about as I do, than to love such a patrimony as yours."
From Soulkhan-Saba Orbeliani's, "The Book of Wisdom and Fiction"
So just remember that sometimes, when a Georgian says you're a duck, it's actually kind of a compliment.
From Soulkhan-Saba Orbeliani's, "The Book of Wisdom and Fiction"
So just remember that sometimes, when a Georgian says you're a duck, it's actually kind of a compliment.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Dear America, Get Your Shit Together
I live in a veritable la la land. I'm able to amble through my days without even a second thought as to what's going on in the news, preferring instead to lose myself in various types of fantasy, science fiction, and even just plain science. It's a pretty awesome life, and I really enjoy it. It keeps a certain level of pleasantness about everything, since all the world news does is put me in a fowl-ass mood.
But occasionally I get knocked back to reality, like when my friend tells me that there was a shooting near her small town in Oregon. Occasionally I have to face the fact that there's a whole other world that exists outside of my happy little bubble, and I get angry.
I get angry especially when I find news headlines that read "Reynolds High School shooting in Oregon is the 74th Gun Incident on U.S. school campuses since Newtown."
Are you fucking kidding me?
It's been roughly 77 weeks since Sandy Hook Elementary School was shot up by a fucking sociopath, which means that we, America, are averaging close to one school shooting a week. And that's just gun related violence in a building which made national news. That number, I'm sure, is actually scarily higher if you include after school shootings, close-but-not-on campus shootings, or child on child shootings.
And I used to think that it really was a problem of gun control; that if we could just curtail the rate and ease of how people buy guns then somehow everything would magically be fixed. But after living in a god damn shitshow of a country, where I could buy a fully automatic weapon and no one would even bat an eye, I don't think that's it. I don't think gun control alone is going to solve this problem, because it's a psychological problem.
Calling it a psychological problem seems strange to me, since it reminds me of all those theories about video games ruining youth, violent movies corrupting children, and all the other bogus ideas that sprang up following the Columbine shooting. And let me be perfectly clear - coming from a girl who saw Predator at age three, and has grown up playing games where the whole basis is to shoot and kill other things - that is not what I'm saying is the cause of this.
Americans suffer from a bad case of Americanitis, a disease where someone feels entitled to be able to do whatever the hell they want to whomever the hell they want because they've got Freedom, and Freedom means no boundaries. Shootings on the street, in alley ways, at movie theaters, in parks - whatever. Those I expect from a place that thinks everyone should have a gun on them at all times to protect themselves from "the bad guys," and given our current gun laws I'm not surprised when I read about them.
But in schools? Really? I mean, it's got to be the definition of irony when suburban families feel terrified sending their kids to their local public school when they specifically moved out of a dodgey gang-ridden ghetto in order to avoid school related violence which is so common in those neighborhoods.
Yet it begs the question - where, then, is safe?
Our homes aren't. Nor are our entertainment centers, or shopping malls. In the woods you might be shot for trespassing accidentally, or being mistaken as a deer during hunting season. They're all public spaces, where it really is the proverbial mixing pot of people that America always touts it is. Elderly, middle age, mothers, fathers, kids, bachelors - everyone shares these public places with everyone else.
Schools were supposed to be safe. They're filled with children, and the few adults who work in them only want to help expand the kids minds and make them rethink a few things they once considered universal and true. Schools are where kids escape bad home lives, where they have a support group of friends, where they can immerse themselves in good and interesting books.
Now our schools seem to be on some perverse Russian Roulette wheel of where the next shooting will be. It's getting to the point where it's not a question of "if" or "when," but "where," and as someone who has a buttload of friends in various educational institutions across the country, as well as a father who is a professor at a university, that's a horrifying and chilling thought.
I know a lot of people expressed concerns for my safety when I told them I was coming to Georgia, and they're not necessarily unfounded; Russia is right there, and they're unpredictable and seemingly hellbent on bringing back the USSR 2.0; Chechnya is also unhappy and recently had violent skirmishes; Pakistan, Iran, Iraq, and Syria are a proverbial hop skip and a jump away. As a female, most of my basic rights are often times ignored or disregarded. As a foreigner, I'm automatically lumped in with the likes of Donald Trump and people try to squeeze me for every penny I have. I've almost gotten eaten by gigantic dogs, died in fiery car crashes where not even my teeth would remain for identification purposes, been in cars where the driver is so drunk he's having trouble standing yet he's somehow able to navigate down a hillside backroad.
I've almost died a lot of times here, but I've never felt unsafe in the sense that bodily harm would be caused to my person by another human being maliciously.
Part of that is that I actively avoid things I would find sketchy in America, like drunk men smoking in a dark alleyway. I don't mess with them. I go the long way around if I have to, but I don't put myself in any situation where something shitty could happen. And while I've always been of the preemptive mentality like that, I still felt like I could die from a lunatic with a gun at any given moment when I was living in Los Angeles and Austin. That feeling just isn't even present here. And quite frankly, I'm not sure why.
Yes, it could just be me being naive and thinking that Georgia is some magical wonderful place where nothing bad happens, but I know that's not fucking true. This is a country where kids in schools are regularly beating the shit out of each other, where kids rip small animals apart without a second thought or even a reason, where animal and domestic abuse just isn't talked about even though they're both wildly rampant, where bullying is a built in part of daily life.
And even with all of that. Even with the knowledge that I am, ostensibly, surrounded by sociopaths, I feel safer here than I do in America. Deep down, I think it's a cultural difference, where the same patriarchal shit that infuriates me constantly also provides a safety net for kids and women. Plenty of people here are shot - the park in my town had a shooting two months ago, and there are so many fights in it at night that the police refuse to answer calls to break them up because they've been attacked and beaten one too many times - but they're limited to men. Men attack other men. They leave kids out of it. They leave women out of it. Kids don't viciously attack each other, because they're kids, and you don't do that until you're grown. Call it weird, but it's a certain type of traditional honor code that America lacks.
Who knows. I'm probably way off base about all of this. My mind is ridiculously scattered, I'm so irritated from reading about this.
All I know is that America needs to shape the fuck up. This isn't a simple problem of gun control - it goes deeper. It's a class problem, and a race problem, and a bullying problem, and a victimization problem. It's people lashing out, being unhappy, being scared, being tired, feeling like there's no way out. It's thirty thousand problems all messily entwined with each other, and it is absolutely horrifying to think that I'm coming back to a place where violence on little kids by the public - not the military or government - is so common and has been so completely unaddressed for so long.
Way to be a "developed" country, America.
You're lucky you have Taco Bell, IPAs, and an adorable dog, otherwise I would not be on my way back.
But occasionally I get knocked back to reality, like when my friend tells me that there was a shooting near her small town in Oregon. Occasionally I have to face the fact that there's a whole other world that exists outside of my happy little bubble, and I get angry.
I get angry especially when I find news headlines that read "Reynolds High School shooting in Oregon is the 74th Gun Incident on U.S. school campuses since Newtown."
Are you fucking kidding me?
It's been roughly 77 weeks since Sandy Hook Elementary School was shot up by a fucking sociopath, which means that we, America, are averaging close to one school shooting a week. And that's just gun related violence in a building which made national news. That number, I'm sure, is actually scarily higher if you include after school shootings, close-but-not-on campus shootings, or child on child shootings.
And I used to think that it really was a problem of gun control; that if we could just curtail the rate and ease of how people buy guns then somehow everything would magically be fixed. But after living in a god damn shitshow of a country, where I could buy a fully automatic weapon and no one would even bat an eye, I don't think that's it. I don't think gun control alone is going to solve this problem, because it's a psychological problem.
Calling it a psychological problem seems strange to me, since it reminds me of all those theories about video games ruining youth, violent movies corrupting children, and all the other bogus ideas that sprang up following the Columbine shooting. And let me be perfectly clear - coming from a girl who saw Predator at age three, and has grown up playing games where the whole basis is to shoot and kill other things - that is not what I'm saying is the cause of this.
Americans suffer from a bad case of Americanitis, a disease where someone feels entitled to be able to do whatever the hell they want to whomever the hell they want because they've got Freedom, and Freedom means no boundaries. Shootings on the street, in alley ways, at movie theaters, in parks - whatever. Those I expect from a place that thinks everyone should have a gun on them at all times to protect themselves from "the bad guys," and given our current gun laws I'm not surprised when I read about them.
But in schools? Really? I mean, it's got to be the definition of irony when suburban families feel terrified sending their kids to their local public school when they specifically moved out of a dodgey gang-ridden ghetto in order to avoid school related violence which is so common in those neighborhoods.
Yet it begs the question - where, then, is safe?
Our homes aren't. Nor are our entertainment centers, or shopping malls. In the woods you might be shot for trespassing accidentally, or being mistaken as a deer during hunting season. They're all public spaces, where it really is the proverbial mixing pot of people that America always touts it is. Elderly, middle age, mothers, fathers, kids, bachelors - everyone shares these public places with everyone else.
Schools were supposed to be safe. They're filled with children, and the few adults who work in them only want to help expand the kids minds and make them rethink a few things they once considered universal and true. Schools are where kids escape bad home lives, where they have a support group of friends, where they can immerse themselves in good and interesting books.
Now our schools seem to be on some perverse Russian Roulette wheel of where the next shooting will be. It's getting to the point where it's not a question of "if" or "when," but "where," and as someone who has a buttload of friends in various educational institutions across the country, as well as a father who is a professor at a university, that's a horrifying and chilling thought.
I know a lot of people expressed concerns for my safety when I told them I was coming to Georgia, and they're not necessarily unfounded; Russia is right there, and they're unpredictable and seemingly hellbent on bringing back the USSR 2.0; Chechnya is also unhappy and recently had violent skirmishes; Pakistan, Iran, Iraq, and Syria are a proverbial hop skip and a jump away. As a female, most of my basic rights are often times ignored or disregarded. As a foreigner, I'm automatically lumped in with the likes of Donald Trump and people try to squeeze me for every penny I have. I've almost gotten eaten by gigantic dogs, died in fiery car crashes where not even my teeth would remain for identification purposes, been in cars where the driver is so drunk he's having trouble standing yet he's somehow able to navigate down a hillside backroad.
I've almost died a lot of times here, but I've never felt unsafe in the sense that bodily harm would be caused to my person by another human being maliciously.
Part of that is that I actively avoid things I would find sketchy in America, like drunk men smoking in a dark alleyway. I don't mess with them. I go the long way around if I have to, but I don't put myself in any situation where something shitty could happen. And while I've always been of the preemptive mentality like that, I still felt like I could die from a lunatic with a gun at any given moment when I was living in Los Angeles and Austin. That feeling just isn't even present here. And quite frankly, I'm not sure why.
Yes, it could just be me being naive and thinking that Georgia is some magical wonderful place where nothing bad happens, but I know that's not fucking true. This is a country where kids in schools are regularly beating the shit out of each other, where kids rip small animals apart without a second thought or even a reason, where animal and domestic abuse just isn't talked about even though they're both wildly rampant, where bullying is a built in part of daily life.
And even with all of that. Even with the knowledge that I am, ostensibly, surrounded by sociopaths, I feel safer here than I do in America. Deep down, I think it's a cultural difference, where the same patriarchal shit that infuriates me constantly also provides a safety net for kids and women. Plenty of people here are shot - the park in my town had a shooting two months ago, and there are so many fights in it at night that the police refuse to answer calls to break them up because they've been attacked and beaten one too many times - but they're limited to men. Men attack other men. They leave kids out of it. They leave women out of it. Kids don't viciously attack each other, because they're kids, and you don't do that until you're grown. Call it weird, but it's a certain type of traditional honor code that America lacks.
Who knows. I'm probably way off base about all of this. My mind is ridiculously scattered, I'm so irritated from reading about this.
All I know is that America needs to shape the fuck up. This isn't a simple problem of gun control - it goes deeper. It's a class problem, and a race problem, and a bullying problem, and a victimization problem. It's people lashing out, being unhappy, being scared, being tired, feeling like there's no way out. It's thirty thousand problems all messily entwined with each other, and it is absolutely horrifying to think that I'm coming back to a place where violence on little kids by the public - not the military or government - is so common and has been so completely unaddressed for so long.
Way to be a "developed" country, America.
You're lucky you have Taco Bell, IPAs, and an adorable dog, otherwise I would not be on my way back.
Monday, June 2, 2014
100th Post!
I wanted to write something big and meaningful for this, the 100th post I've sat at this computer and typed up random blurbs, thoughts, impressions - what have you.
Unfortunately, everything sounds bad. It all sounds stupid, and lame, and unoriginal. I'm bored writing it, I'm sure you'd be bored reading it, and I think we'll just skip all that boredom for both our sakes!
So, in keeping up with the lists that I'm oh so fond of, here's another one!
100 Small and Ridiculous Georgian Moments!
1. The 50 lari cab ride our second night in country, where we were taken up into the mountains, drank wine with teenagers, and I got my first marriage proposal.
2. Finding a bar with insanely good happy hour deals, and then bringing more and more people to it until they eventually ran out of happy hour beer by the third day.
3. Thinking we were so clever for carrying the hotels business card with us so we could get back easily after a night on the town during orientation.
4. Deciding upon places to eat based solely on the quality of their bathroom.
5. Expanding on number four, having the first question you ask be, "How's the toilet?"when you try a new restaurant/bar/cafe.
6. Being surprised at all the medical waste randomly on the ground, and then being even more surprised when my host siblings started chasing each other around with hypodermic needles full of water.
7. Being chased by a huge dog for the first time.
8. Sleeping on a balcony and getting drunk with the woman who ran the hostel.
9. Getting felt up by an old guy with no teeth while visiting a fortress from the 6th century.
10. Carving a pumpkin with ridiculously dull knives and a Swiss Army Knife.
11. Making hot toddies with homemade ginger-infused cognac.
12. Using the straight-out-of-a-Russian-horror-film restroom on the cross country night train.
13. Pregaming for an evening on the town by going to the grocery store and imbibing in free wine samples.
14. "Fuck it, I got this" being the best phrase ever.
15. This has ceased being surprising. Confusing, yes. But surprising, no.
Unfortunately, everything sounds bad. It all sounds stupid, and lame, and unoriginal. I'm bored writing it, I'm sure you'd be bored reading it, and I think we'll just skip all that boredom for both our sakes!
So, in keeping up with the lists that I'm oh so fond of, here's another one!
100 Small and Ridiculous Georgian Moments!
1. The 50 lari cab ride our second night in country, where we were taken up into the mountains, drank wine with teenagers, and I got my first marriage proposal.
2. Finding a bar with insanely good happy hour deals, and then bringing more and more people to it until they eventually ran out of happy hour beer by the third day.
3. Thinking we were so clever for carrying the hotels business card with us so we could get back easily after a night on the town during orientation.
4. Deciding upon places to eat based solely on the quality of their bathroom.
5. Expanding on number four, having the first question you ask be, "How's the toilet?"when you try a new restaurant/bar/cafe.
6. Being surprised at all the medical waste randomly on the ground, and then being even more surprised when my host siblings started chasing each other around with hypodermic needles full of water.
7. Being chased by a huge dog for the first time.
8. Sleeping on a balcony and getting drunk with the woman who ran the hostel.
9. Getting felt up by an old guy with no teeth while visiting a fortress from the 6th century.
10. Carving a pumpkin with ridiculously dull knives and a Swiss Army Knife.
11. Making hot toddies with homemade ginger-infused cognac.
12. Using the straight-out-of-a-Russian-horror-film restroom on the cross country night train.
13. Pregaming for an evening on the town by going to the grocery store and imbibing in free wine samples.
14. "Fuck it, I got this" being the best phrase ever.
15. This has ceased being surprising. Confusing, yes. But surprising, no.
16. Playing the best game one can play on a hopping Saturday night in Telavi; "Boys Driving in Cars, Looking at Girls, Looking at Boys Driving in Cars, Looking at Girls, Looking at Boys Driving in Cars, Looking at Girls..."
17. Thinking it's hilariously fun to walk on a corn covered floor.
18. Finding various human bones in a cardboard box in a monastery that's famous for throwing pigs out of the windows at invading Muslims.
19. The tortoise with painted toes that someone brought to a bar one night.
20. The five shmerry Santa's by the big tree outside of Parliament over Christmas while crying children protested sitting in their laps.
21. My family calling me Julie for the first five weeks in country, and then realizing that most Georgians I associate with on a more than passing basis call me Julie, or Diane, or Jewana. You know, anything that's NOT my actual name.
22. Ani calling smiling a lot "pain in my face."
23. Bebia telling me that since she has no teeth I should eat the crispy fried potatoes.
24. Accidentally buying dude shampoo because fuck Russian.
25. Accidentally buying body wash and using it as shampoo because really, fuck Russian.
26. Seeing a monk with an iPhone and iPad and wondering what the hell kind of apps he must have on them.
27. Watching Tbilisi's crazy cat lady and her cats in boxes, in bird cages, in socks, and cuddling with a stray dog she's petting with her feet while playing panduri and singing.
28. Breaking into the yard of a sixth century church so you can light a fire with old beer bottles and drink more.
29. Watching German stewardesses on Lufthansa deal with Georgians.
30. Mastering the Link Chic outfit for school.
31. Having texts like, "I'll meet you at Stalin" be a normal thing.
32. Taking a selfie with Stalin and feeling absolutely zero remorse about it.
33. After nine shots of chacha, I am coherent for about an hour, and then I will put myself to bed, because I think that's when I stop being coherent.
34. Learning wine jugs have numerous uses, such as light covers on electric poles.
35. That time my teacher told me I was saying "plumber" incorrectly, and that the way I spoke was confusing the children.
36. That other time my teacher told me that I said "chaos" wrong, because it starts with a "ch" and not a "k."
37. Having to wrap up my computer in a flannel shirt so that it's battery wouldn't die overnight even though it was plugged in.
38. Being able to find any smidgeon of Disney, even in the middle of a former Soviet satellite state.
39. Suddenly feeling like a 13 year old, drinking secret beer out of a paper bag while sitting on a patio in the park overlooking the plains.
40. Making snow angels with Ani in the weird woods behind our house.
41. An old guy outside of the Rustaveli metro stop had a telescope set up and was letting people look through it for 50 tetri. I didn't have any money, but I asked him if he had it pointed at Jupiter, and he got so excited I knew what it was that he let me look through for free.
42. That time I actually wrote, "Dungeons and Dragons is a widely developed and accepted canonical source, so at least I'm not using the Dragonriders of Pern as the basis of my dragon related opinions and appreciation," after talking about how scary and dragon-like Georgian is when people are angry and yell.
43. Walking down any street in any town and thinking, "These houses would make the Home Owners Association just cry..."
44. This being outside of my room for over a month.
45. That time we thought this was a good idea.
46. When my teacher told me that I was pronouncing "shadow" wrong (and you probably are, too. It's pronounced "shade-oh" after all. Good thing we, native speakers, are able to learn important lessons such as these...).
47. That time my teacher told me the past tense of "spin" was "span"...
48. Having "Do you have a husband?" be the normal second question asked of me after "Where are you from?"
49. Roadside meat stands, and their hanging pig heads, have stopped being weird.
50. Getting the hell out of the house and finding something else to eat when the ubiquitous black meat is being cooked.
51. When we hid in a cave on a mountainside and watched a herd of goats and sheep pass by so we wouldn't have to mess with the huge, scary shepherd dogs.
52. "No more, thank you," is not effective when it comes to food or drinks. "A little more, and then done," is much better, and you will actually be listened to.
53. "Joanna. Daleh chacha," is an awesome phrase when it's just me and my host mom and it's only 5 pm.
54. That time Allison was a badass and carried a sheep we stole down a muddy, rocky, really unstable mountain path.
55. "Oh, you're American? I'm Chechen." "Cool! Do you live up near Bakuriani?" "Yes. In Pankisi. Because I am Chechen." "It's beautiful up there. I'm very jealous." "Yes. There are many Chechens there. From Chechnya. I speak Chechen. Because I am Chechen." I think Chechens here aren't used to Americans who don't give a shit that they are, in fact, Chechen.
56. Plates of food on top of plates of food on top of plates of food at supras.
57. "Sakartvelos Americas megobrebs garmajos!" being the ultimate toast if you want to make any host love you.
58. If you want to have fun in the village, find the owner of the salon.
59. Electricity randomly going out for no reason when the sun is shining and there is no wind.
60. Having herds of livestock slowing down your transportation being a normal part of any trip.
61. Walking towards a group of abandoned buildings to do some exploring and then deciding not to as two men with automatic weapons come out of the buildings with a pack of barking dogs.
62. That time Andy Samberg's doppleganger was a waiter at a restaurant and we kept staring at him.
63. How we accidentally took this awesome picture,
and then immediately decided that we needed to start a girl band. Aptly named the Three Gogos, our first album, which will naturally go platinum, is called "The World Is Our Marshutka Stop"and features classic hits such as, "It's Her Dead Place," "How's the Toilet?" "Village Life," and the metal cover of Disney's "Let It Go."
64. The day I realized delicious jongjoli was a flower on a tree and not just a weed was mindblowing.
65. Every time the mountains made me grin like an idiot.
66. When there were pants in the hot water heater.
67. Sixth grade Gio saying, "I AM ENGLISH MASTAH!" after he finally understood something grammatically tricky.
68. The day I realized that my kids know verbs like "kill" and "die" solely because of Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto, yet still struggle with "to be."
69. My off-road driving skills merited a marriage proposal.
70. Ani and I sat on the upstairs porch one day talking about how we wanted to be birds so we could fly anywhere and poop on people that we didn't like. But then we realized that there are so many dumb people we don't like in the world that everything would be covered in poop and you would need boats to get around. Makin' a difference, one kid at a time!
71. The night I realized the confused evening songbird, who has followed me from Michigan, to Los Angeles, to Michigan, then Texas, then back to Michigan, has finally found me in Georgia!
72. That time a random haughty Egyptian we met in a bar gave me an Egyptian coin, and told me it would bring me good luck.
73. The day glaring biology teacher actually hugged me and called me a kargi gogo was a fantastic day for my ego.
74. Drinking mint tea and eating bread with Bebo at 10:30 pm, since we didn't know where anyone else in the family was, and when in doubt, eat.
75. Drinking water out of a fourth century well that's tucked away in the mountain woods.
76. Being told we, two Americans and a host sibling, would be able to milk cows at a certain time, and instead herded them from one end of the village to the other.
77. When our sixth graders were learning about astronauts, and my coteacher turned to me and said, "I think everything became bad after we went to space." Interesting, I thought. I wonder if she hates the space program because she saw it as a gross appropriation of funds to something not necessary, while the needs of the people went unheeded. She then continued, "The sky is only for God, and we are not supposed to be there. So now, bad things happen because we feel like going to God's realm." Fucking of course.
78. Finding a car sort of buried in a hill, with only the door open to the world, and then being told by a seven year old that the pigs live in the car. Naturally.
79. When Sophia and I were sitting on a bench in the town center, eating some ice cream and playing "Boys Driving in Cars, Looking at Girls, Looking at Boys Driving in Cars..." A group of girls stopped in front of our bench, one sat sneakily down on it while the others pulled out a camera. Thinking they wanted a picture with the fortress, we moved down to give her more room, but she got even closer to us and then some pictures were taken. The girls introduced themselves, they asked our names, and then took more photos before leaving the two of us really, really confused. Especially since we weren't even that touristy. There was an Asian family on another bench, for fucks sake!
80. That time there was a chicken in a plastic bag full of children's clothes on a seat in a marshutka.
81. Seeing one of the girls who works at our preferred hostel out on the town and her, wasted, grabbing me in a hug and telling everyone around us that I am her favorite TLGer.
82. Feeling ridiculously happy at seeing these in a book store here.
83. Tskaltubo.
84. That time a friend and I accidentally wandered into a strip club but didn't understand what it was until the next day when we put all the brass and neon light memories together.
85. When we had a picnic at a fourth century church and accidentally broke a bench at the table outside because it was rotting wood.
86. Playing the jankiest homemade version of Cards Against Humanity ever to have graced this good Earth.
87. The Kotex spokeswomen outside of the Isani metro station giving packets of pads to little gypsy boys, who instantly turned around and started trying to sell them to people.
88. When school was cancelled for a week and a half due to a meningitis outbreak and they tried to have classes on a Saturday to help make up for it. Haaaaa.
89. The day we realized that the water park in Tbilisi isn't abandoned, but instead burned down. Digest that a second. I'm in a place where a water park burned down. A water. Park. Was on fire. A park full of water somehow was flammable.
90. Taking a trip with my teachers to Tbilisi, who all believed I would be lost forever unless I was physically in contact with one of them, to see the bones of a former bishop.
91. Singing songs and drinking wine behind a piss smelling bus outside our hotel.
92. For all the Star Wars and badly quoted graffiti throughout the country.
93. Having the thought, "China, please just stop" occur at least once a week.
94. Realizing every Georgian house has the exact same items: a piano no one can play, white dishes with little green flowers on them, and a terrifying collection of stuffed animals that will probably steal your soul in the night.
95. Having a belligerent Irish coworker tell the owners of the cafe we had just done three shots of chacha at that we are teachers, and having their reply be, "And tonight you are drunk!"
96. I finally understand that if anything good happens to you, you are supposed to bring cake and wine into school for everyone to celebrate. Good things include your own birthday, your grandchild's birthday, completion of the road your house or school is on, or if you buy a new car.
97. Everyone only talks about money or food unless you are giving toasts while drinking wine. And then you will talk a lot about dead people and how much you miss them.
98. Cafe Gallery and dancing like an idiot to bad techno music surrounded by coked out gay twentysomethingyearolds until five in the morning when you had said to yourself earlier that night, "I want a quiet night in. I think I'll stay at the hostel."
99. Telling numerous people that my Georgian is not very good, and if they could please speak slower, and instead they repeat what they had just said, only louder and faster.
100. Introducing big arms to this country, and having it finally sort of kinda be understood by my host sister.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
How Plans Work
As mentioned in the last post, I've been pretty bad about updating this lately, and I apologize for that. I had a big master idea to get overly caffeinated tomorrow afternoon and do a proper update, but ha! Change of plans!
One of the things that is both enchanting and infuriating about this place is the way in which planning works. Meaning that it doesn't. There's no point really in nailing down specifics about anything, because there are about a dozen chaos factors working against you at any given moment. Broad ideas of how you want to spend your time are fine, as long as you're flexible give or take a day, and you're not too set on seeing something particular.
In other words, this place is an OCD's worst nightmare.
The good news is that no matter how your plan falls through, the resulting activities that rise out of its steaming pile of ashes are, much like a phoenix, about a trillion times better than what you had originally planned on.
So here I was, dicking around with a notebook, [re]watching some TV show for the umpteenth time, mulling over what I could possibly write about tomorrow when I get a text from a friend.
"Do you have class tomorrow and Friday?" He asks.
That's a weird question, Chris. Duh, yes of course I do? "Yessir. Do you not?"
"Nope not til Tuesday. I just found out."
In the middle of going to check my email to see if TLG sent something I missed, Sophia calls me, and informs me that there's been an outbreak of airborne meningitis, and throughout Georgia grades one through six are cancelled until next week. Because that's totally enough time to get the meningitis out of the schools, but whatever. The point is this coming weekend, which was already going to be a three day weekend on account of Monday being independence day, has now morphed into a glorious five day weekend. Naturally, hairbrained schemes were hatched within minutes, and we now have a nebulous idea of what we're going to do with our newly acquired free time!
Which means, dear reader, that while I would love to stay home tomorrow, and write about some weird Georgian shit, I'm going to be hitchhiking with a friend up through some mountains we've never been in to go visit another friend who lives in the upper elevations of this little place. Here's our route, so in case I go missing you can sort of know where to begin the search.
One of the things that is both enchanting and infuriating about this place is the way in which planning works. Meaning that it doesn't. There's no point really in nailing down specifics about anything, because there are about a dozen chaos factors working against you at any given moment. Broad ideas of how you want to spend your time are fine, as long as you're flexible give or take a day, and you're not too set on seeing something particular.
In other words, this place is an OCD's worst nightmare.
The good news is that no matter how your plan falls through, the resulting activities that rise out of its steaming pile of ashes are, much like a phoenix, about a trillion times better than what you had originally planned on.
So here I was, dicking around with a notebook, [re]watching some TV show for the umpteenth time, mulling over what I could possibly write about tomorrow when I get a text from a friend.
"Do you have class tomorrow and Friday?" He asks.
That's a weird question, Chris. Duh, yes of course I do? "Yessir. Do you not?"
"Nope not til Tuesday. I just found out."
In the middle of going to check my email to see if TLG sent something I missed, Sophia calls me, and informs me that there's been an outbreak of airborne meningitis, and throughout Georgia grades one through six are cancelled until next week. Because that's totally enough time to get the meningitis out of the schools, but whatever. The point is this coming weekend, which was already going to be a three day weekend on account of Monday being independence day, has now morphed into a glorious five day weekend. Naturally, hairbrained schemes were hatched within minutes, and we now have a nebulous idea of what we're going to do with our newly acquired free time!
Which means, dear reader, that while I would love to stay home tomorrow, and write about some weird Georgian shit, I'm going to be hitchhiking with a friend up through some mountains we've never been in to go visit another friend who lives in the upper elevations of this little place. Here's our route, so in case I go missing you can sort of know where to begin the search.
Kidding. I'm kidding. Isn't that a lovely shade of pink?!
Anyway. After the mountain stuff, and free wine festival on Saturday, and the weird Tusheti horse races in Sophia's village on Sunday, I will sit down and do a proper update, full of hilarity, pictures, and that adorable sass of mine.
Unless plans change again.
Cause they always do.
P.s. In case you were wondering how the hell this chaos is worth it, this type of view is the answer.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
The Unsung Hero
I'm gonna take a few minutes and highlight a little devil that's been a pretty big lifesaver for the last three months - my Nook Simple Touch.
No, this isn't code for my ladybits, although I always want to write Barnes and Noble, asking them why the fuck they thought naming their e-reader something which can be easily misconstrued as a vagina was a good idea, but that's besides the point. This little e-reader is amazing.
I've resisted the whole e-reader phenomenon since it first came onto the scene. I thought it was stupid, because why would you buy one of these things when holding and smelling and feeling an actual book is so much better? And I'm still, at my core, of that belief. I think books are amazing little pieces of time made physical. Carl Sagan said it (and many other things) best:
No, this isn't code for my ladybits, although I always want to write Barnes and Noble, asking them why the fuck they thought naming their e-reader something which can be easily misconstrued as a vagina was a good idea, but that's besides the point. This little e-reader is amazing.
I've resisted the whole e-reader phenomenon since it first came onto the scene. I thought it was stupid, because why would you buy one of these things when holding and smelling and feeling an actual book is so much better? And I'm still, at my core, of that belief. I think books are amazing little pieces of time made physical. Carl Sagan said it (and many other things) best:
A book is made from a tree. It is an assemblage of flat, flexible parts (still called "leaves") imprinted with dark pigmented squiggles. One glance at it and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, the author is speaking, clearly and silently, inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time ― proof that humans can work magic.
My biggest gripe with books, in their real forms, is the size. I'm a pretty speedy reader, able to plow through a thousand page novel in a couple days, and bringing a multitude of books to keep up with my velocity would have required a whole suitcase dedicated only to them. Which didn't sound like a horrible idea, except for the fact that I wanted to have like, a nice towel and some sweaters so I didn't freeze to death.
And that's when I finally gave in and bought the Nook. The post-Christmas specials had it down to only $50 in price, and while it doesn't have any fancy bells and whistles, like a backlit screen, Internet access, or games, it's about as close to a book as I can get without actually having one.
The screen, which isn't a color display, looks like a piece of paper. It's that off-white page color, and it's not difficult to read in the low light of a dim room or in the blinding blaze of sunlight. You can make little notes on pages, which also turn almost instantaneously - there's a fraction of a second of delay, but that's, to me, the equivalent of having to PHYSICALLY turn a page, so hell if I really care about that.
I've heard a lot of people complain about Nooks for problems that I haven't encountered. Stuff like their battery life being terrible, or the internal filing of books being wonky, have been big sources of complaints on Internet forums. I charge up my Nook once every two weeks - and that's with reading at least an hour, if not more, on it every day. Unsure why we live in a world where that isn't adequate battery life, but there you go. As for the files, maybe it's just me, but I'm pretty anal retentive and go through and rename all my books anyway - if they're in a series the number is first followed by the title of the series, then author, then book title, and if it's a standalone book then it's just author, book title. I don't have any problem ever finding books, especially since there's that handy dandy "search" function in case I don't feel like going through 62 pages of book titles. An amazing ebook organizing program, called Calibre, is also Nook compatible, and quickly helps even the messiest libraries become manageable.
Books are easy peasy to get, and since it reads .pdf files as well as .epub, I'm not pigeonholed into only buying books off of the Barnes and Noble e-store. Most of my collection has come from Pirate Bay, or the awesome website gutenberg.org. Since my friends here all have Kindles, which read .mobi (unsupported by the Nook), I use the aforementioned Calibre to convert them to .epubs. Womp womp my life is hard!
I guess a few days ago Barnes and Noble discontinued the Nook, which is a real big shame. If you're able to find one of these little guys (Reddit said that Target was selling their remaining Nook stock for $30), I highly suggest picking it up. It's superb for what it needs to do - let you read books - and with its simple UI, expandable memory slot, and ability to root it (overwrite the preexisting operating system and load games, access the Internet, etc etc) it is the absolute best bang for your buck!
And that's when I finally gave in and bought the Nook. The post-Christmas specials had it down to only $50 in price, and while it doesn't have any fancy bells and whistles, like a backlit screen, Internet access, or games, it's about as close to a book as I can get without actually having one.
The screen, which isn't a color display, looks like a piece of paper. It's that off-white page color, and it's not difficult to read in the low light of a dim room or in the blinding blaze of sunlight. You can make little notes on pages, which also turn almost instantaneously - there's a fraction of a second of delay, but that's, to me, the equivalent of having to PHYSICALLY turn a page, so hell if I really care about that.
I've heard a lot of people complain about Nooks for problems that I haven't encountered. Stuff like their battery life being terrible, or the internal filing of books being wonky, have been big sources of complaints on Internet forums. I charge up my Nook once every two weeks - and that's with reading at least an hour, if not more, on it every day. Unsure why we live in a world where that isn't adequate battery life, but there you go. As for the files, maybe it's just me, but I'm pretty anal retentive and go through and rename all my books anyway - if they're in a series the number is first followed by the title of the series, then author, then book title, and if it's a standalone book then it's just author, book title. I don't have any problem ever finding books, especially since there's that handy dandy "search" function in case I don't feel like going through 62 pages of book titles. An amazing ebook organizing program, called Calibre, is also Nook compatible, and quickly helps even the messiest libraries become manageable.
Books are easy peasy to get, and since it reads .pdf files as well as .epub, I'm not pigeonholed into only buying books off of the Barnes and Noble e-store. Most of my collection has come from Pirate Bay, or the awesome website gutenberg.org. Since my friends here all have Kindles, which read .mobi (unsupported by the Nook), I use the aforementioned Calibre to convert them to .epubs. Womp womp my life is hard!
I guess a few days ago Barnes and Noble discontinued the Nook, which is a real big shame. If you're able to find one of these little guys (Reddit said that Target was selling their remaining Nook stock for $30), I highly suggest picking it up. It's superb for what it needs to do - let you read books - and with its simple UI, expandable memory slot, and ability to root it (overwrite the preexisting operating system and load games, access the Internet, etc etc) it is the absolute best bang for your buck!
Percy
The afternoons where I can just sit on our patio, reading and drinking coffee, are some of my favorite types of days. Now that the weather is improving, the frequency of these days are increasing. Yesterday was one such day.
I'd just finished my book, and was scrolling lazily through my other options (I wrote up a review for the Barnes and Noble Nook, an e-reader that I bought over Christmas, so I should really post that at some point), trying to figure out which story came next chronologically in the series I'm currently reading, when I heard a weird bleat.
It was definitely a goat bleat, but I was perplexed, since my family doesn't have goats, my neighbors don't have goats, and the only herds of animals I've seen in my neighborhood are some cows that used to trek up and down the dry riverbed behind the house. So I cautiously climbed down the steps to the grassy yard and there he was - a goat, with his leg tied to a post.
As soon as I saw him, my dumb brain of course gave him a name - Percy. Regret instantly hit me for naming him. "Oh you idiot," I berated myself. "Don't name the goat! You're probably going to eat him soon!" And then I thought, "Wait, we've never kept goats, and neither does anyone in the neighborhood! Maybe the family in the village is just going to come get him and take him out to the fields near Kvareli and he'll be able to lead a happy little goat life!"
I let this delusion continue, and indeed it grew once Bebo and my host mom came home and were surprised by the appearance of Percy. Neither of them seemed to be expecting it, and they didn't know why he was in our yard. My optimism for the future of this ungulate skyrocketed.
Later in the evening, Bebo informed me that we needed to take Percy to a neighbors house, because they had a shed for him. I don't know if you've ever tried to get a goat to go a specific direction, especially one that you want it to go when it doesn't want to go that way, but it's really difficult, and usually really counterproductive. The difficulty is almost exponentially more when there isn't anything around its neck that you can grab onto, and instead you're pulling it's leg, it's trying to run away, and it's screaming in pain because legs aren't supposed to bend certain ways. Bebo kept tugging at Percy, relying on the old standard of "just drag things if they won't willingly come with you," but I stopped this right quick and just picked him up. Goat screams are one of the worst sounds ever, and if Percy was ever going to go running through the grassy fields next to the Alazani River, he needed to have all of his legs.
I'd just finished my book, and was scrolling lazily through my other options (I wrote up a review for the Barnes and Noble Nook, an e-reader that I bought over Christmas, so I should really post that at some point), trying to figure out which story came next chronologically in the series I'm currently reading, when I heard a weird bleat.
It was definitely a goat bleat, but I was perplexed, since my family doesn't have goats, my neighbors don't have goats, and the only herds of animals I've seen in my neighborhood are some cows that used to trek up and down the dry riverbed behind the house. So I cautiously climbed down the steps to the grassy yard and there he was - a goat, with his leg tied to a post.
I let this delusion continue, and indeed it grew once Bebo and my host mom came home and were surprised by the appearance of Percy. Neither of them seemed to be expecting it, and they didn't know why he was in our yard. My optimism for the future of this ungulate skyrocketed.
Later in the evening, Bebo informed me that we needed to take Percy to a neighbors house, because they had a shed for him. I don't know if you've ever tried to get a goat to go a specific direction, especially one that you want it to go when it doesn't want to go that way, but it's really difficult, and usually really counterproductive. The difficulty is almost exponentially more when there isn't anything around its neck that you can grab onto, and instead you're pulling it's leg, it's trying to run away, and it's screaming in pain because legs aren't supposed to bend certain ways. Bebo kept tugging at Percy, relying on the old standard of "just drag things if they won't willingly come with you," but I stopped this right quick and just picked him up. Goat screams are one of the worst sounds ever, and if Percy was ever going to go running through the grassy fields next to the Alazani River, he needed to have all of his legs.
I'd expect, in a place where people regularly carry turkeys on the roofs of Lada Nivas, and drive backwards down busy streets, and a whole plethora of other ridiculous shit, that a girl carrying a goat down the road wouldn't be that big of a scene. But it was. Bebo just followed me and Percy, laughing the whole way, and the neighbors were guffawing so much they couldn't do anything but take pictures.
We put him in an old stable in the neighbors yard, and that was the last time I saw Percy. As Bebo and I walked home, I was pretty happy with the little life I'd constructed for him in my head.
And then I came home from school today to two fat, old, shirtless Georgian guys, chain smoking and cleaning out an animal that was hanging from a tree in the yard.
"It could be some other goat," a voice inside me said. "It doesn't have to be...oh, shit. There's his little head on the ground..."
Sorry, Percy. I wanted you to have a good little goat life, I really did. Instead, I think you're gonna be a damn tasty meal!
Monday, May 5, 2014
Hostel View
From the lofty second floor windows of the Fox Hostel, located right near Rustaveli Avenue in Tbilisi, you can see the following:
7 pairs of shoes on the phone line
1 gay bar
3 restaurants to buy khachapuri from
1 cat on a tree stump
17 posters on the wall
5 graffiti on the wall
2 full dumpsters that were empty yesterday
3 very lost looking Europeans (Polish?)
3 parked cars - all with their front bumpers!
1 guy on a smoke break with green shoes who noticed me sitting in the window and is now staring.
7 pairs of shoes on the phone line
1 gay bar
3 restaurants to buy khachapuri from
1 cat on a tree stump
17 posters on the wall
5 graffiti on the wall
2 full dumpsters that were empty yesterday
3 very lost looking Europeans (Polish?)
3 parked cars - all with their front bumpers!
1 guy on a smoke break with green shoes who noticed me sitting in the window and is now staring.
Evolution
I have a notebook for school. Given my affinity for ridiculously specific notebooks and their themes, I'm sure this isn't surprising for you. I jot down little notes based on stuff we do in class, if certain kids had a hard time with something, general thoughts on the day. Pretty basic things. It started out as a highly organized, color coded informative system, and has since degraded to talking about how I want to punch some students in the face. Which isn't fair, I understand, especially cause they're in like second grade, but hey! I calls 'em like I sees 'em!
Anyway, I was taking a gander through this notebook today, and I figured I'd share a few choice entries with you.
Please note that I haven't edited these, except for changing the day of the week to English (since it's in Georgian in the notebook, but I don't feel like being pretentious to you today!).
9.23.2013 Monday
Grade 1 - book 1 welcome unit. hello, goodbye, my name is...
vocab for a-f, writing Aa and Bb.
*Katie has issues writing even with motor guidance
Grade 2 - book 1 pg 51
happy, sad, pretty, clown, balloon, princess. lots of reading practice.
sh/th --> trouble with pronouncing these combos
Grade 5 - pg 14 and 15.
#s review #s next time cause whoa!
Grade 6 - does, do, likes, like.
*find good way of explaining does with verbs!
10.18.2013 Friday
Grade 5 - a test! lots of confusion on directions.
having an easier time than 6th gr. well, I lied.
most v. rough also...lots of questions, staring off into space, etc
Grade 4 - lots of vocab - translating words and text. all read and translate today.
think they got past tense! or at least in Georgian for translating purposes.
I think I'm learning more Georgian than they are English...
10.29.2013 Tuesday
Grade 6 - red riding hood misc. bs questions. could and couldn't. explained "ou"
in that word [could] was diff than cloud, sound, etc. GJ books on doing that...not.
phonics --> u in put, bull pull.
more past con't tense. sort of got it. nouns throwing them off.
11.6.2013 Wednesday
Grade 1 - for monday make lil test in notebooks.
matching game with caps and smalls and then they write caps
learned Yy and Zz (zed. fuck you British English!) alphabet, and color review, 1-10
Grade 4 - spent whole time with time (again). half past, quarter to, quarter past.
WB and PB exercises using timetables. kids dunno this shit in Georgian, let alone English...
Grade 2 - vocab again. ages, dialogue. not much headway today...
Grade 3 - by myself...ran through possessive. pg 132 WB and pair work --> great success!
terrible at spelling - if they could tell me the word I let them have it
12.6.2013 Friday
Grade 5 - pioneers, things we use in class pg 49-51
kids were v. talkative today! it was awesome! even Levani and big Gio said stuff!
still wanna punch little Gio in the face. everyone else was paying attention and trying.
Grade 4 - still playing remedial grammar. spent whole class on "to be" again, and threw possessive in.
reminded them of -shi
having to spend this time on grammar will hopefully expedite the rest of the lessons cause the
kids will know what's going on!
2.4.2014 Tuesday
Grade 6 - only Gio and Tika today. Went over on, at, in again.
Played remedial Georgian again and had to go over how to tell time (in Georgian)
and months of the year (in Georgian). i refuse to believe they don't know months in their own
language. i just cannot believe that. L wants to give test next week. haaaaaaaa...
2.19.2014 Wednesday
Grade 1 - primarily "what is it" game. read dialogue. learned song with "what is it"
kids now know octopus but not chair. Hmmmm...
Grade 4 - L proposed teaching them new vocab before making them read texts.
which is what I've been saying for a while, but whatevs. if it works that's what counts.
Grade 2 - in class writing. lots of practice with -ing verbs. great for them to copy correctly
2.28.2014 Friday
Grade 5 - once again hardly spoke. i almost want to drop 3rd grade on Mondays to get into here more.
reviewed alphabet with cards, then did verb game with cards --> took up most of the time
went over homework, read their comps about swimming, and then done. super unproductive
Grade 3 - made mother's day cards today. i feel way bad, though. Dato was drawing a dragon and I
loved it and got way excited and N and the other students laughed so he got all embarrassed
and stopped...
Grade 4 - alphabet and verb cards - good review! had them make sentences with verbs they picked.
rest of class not as productive. alphabet order, still get k and q confused.
Gio stopped paying attention completely and turned into a little shit.
4.16.2014 Wednesday
Grade 1 - no test. super productive! got them talking a lot, Sopo actually did an entire WB page in class
with some guidance. HUGE SUCCESS!!
Grade 4 - only Tatia in class. read a bit with her, did some exercises, and ended early.
pretty big waste of a day honestly...
Grade 2 - no test. Sandro's Georgian Boy Shit is getting out of control. but he's a boy. so everyone
giggles because he's soooo funny. ugh. little shits become little shits the same way
everywhere...
anyhoo. reviewed clothing from last time and talked a lot about it. read dialogue.
4.30.2014 Wednesday
Grade 1 - really good day! 10 mins of them gabbing at start.
fox, box, fog, dog, log. worked in WB - didn't get underlining names and circling capital
letter --> fucking rough to explain.
Grade 4 - ugh. my head. adverbs. ow.
Grade 2 - none of them (except 3) had books since it's some sort of holiday?
reviewed clothes, and played "what are they wearing" game rest of time.
5.2.2014 Friday
Grade 5 - No Lamara today, so no class.
*Actually no classes at all, since 3rd grade got moved to fifth hour but no one told the kids so they all left....
Anyway, I was taking a gander through this notebook today, and I figured I'd share a few choice entries with you.
Please note that I haven't edited these, except for changing the day of the week to English (since it's in Georgian in the notebook, but I don't feel like being pretentious to you today!).
9.23.2013 Monday
Grade 1 - book 1 welcome unit. hello, goodbye, my name is...
vocab for a-f, writing Aa and Bb.
*Katie has issues writing even with motor guidance
Grade 2 - book 1 pg 51
happy, sad, pretty, clown, balloon, princess. lots of reading practice.
sh/th --> trouble with pronouncing these combos
Grade 5 - pg 14 and 15.
#s review #s next time cause whoa!
Grade 6 - does, do, likes, like.
*find good way of explaining does with verbs!
10.18.2013 Friday
Grade 5 - a test! lots of confusion on directions.
having an easier time than 6th gr. well, I lied.
most v. rough also...lots of questions, staring off into space, etc
Grade 4 - lots of vocab - translating words and text. all read and translate today.
think they got past tense! or at least in Georgian for translating purposes.
I think I'm learning more Georgian than they are English...
10.29.2013 Tuesday
Grade 6 - red riding hood misc. bs questions. could and couldn't. explained "ou"
in that word [could] was diff than cloud, sound, etc. GJ books on doing that...not.
phonics --> u in put, bull pull.
more past con't tense. sort of got it. nouns throwing them off.
11.6.2013 Wednesday
Grade 1 - for monday make lil test in notebooks.
matching game with caps and smalls and then they write caps
learned Yy and Zz (zed. fuck you British English!) alphabet, and color review, 1-10
Grade 4 - spent whole time with time (again). half past, quarter to, quarter past.
WB and PB exercises using timetables. kids dunno this shit in Georgian, let alone English...
Grade 2 - vocab again. ages, dialogue. not much headway today...
Grade 3 - by myself...ran through possessive. pg 132 WB and pair work --> great success!
terrible at spelling - if they could tell me the word I let them have it
12.6.2013 Friday
Grade 5 - pioneers, things we use in class pg 49-51
kids were v. talkative today! it was awesome! even Levani and big Gio said stuff!
still wanna punch little Gio in the face. everyone else was paying attention and trying.
Grade 4 - still playing remedial grammar. spent whole class on "to be" again, and threw possessive in.
reminded them of -shi
having to spend this time on grammar will hopefully expedite the rest of the lessons cause the
kids will know what's going on!
2.4.2014 Tuesday
Grade 6 - only Gio and Tika today. Went over on, at, in again.
Played remedial Georgian again and had to go over how to tell time (in Georgian)
and months of the year (in Georgian). i refuse to believe they don't know months in their own
language. i just cannot believe that. L wants to give test next week. haaaaaaaa...
2.19.2014 Wednesday
Grade 1 - primarily "what is it" game. read dialogue. learned song with "what is it"
kids now know octopus but not chair. Hmmmm...
Grade 4 - L proposed teaching them new vocab before making them read texts.
which is what I've been saying for a while, but whatevs. if it works that's what counts.
Grade 2 - in class writing. lots of practice with -ing verbs. great for them to copy correctly
2.28.2014 Friday
Grade 5 - once again hardly spoke. i almost want to drop 3rd grade on Mondays to get into here more.
reviewed alphabet with cards, then did verb game with cards --> took up most of the time
went over homework, read their comps about swimming, and then done. super unproductive
Grade 3 - made mother's day cards today. i feel way bad, though. Dato was drawing a dragon and I
loved it and got way excited and N and the other students laughed so he got all embarrassed
and stopped...
Grade 4 - alphabet and verb cards - good review! had them make sentences with verbs they picked.
rest of class not as productive. alphabet order, still get k and q confused.
Gio stopped paying attention completely and turned into a little shit.
4.16.2014 Wednesday
Grade 1 - no test. super productive! got them talking a lot, Sopo actually did an entire WB page in class
with some guidance. HUGE SUCCESS!!
Grade 4 - only Tatia in class. read a bit with her, did some exercises, and ended early.
pretty big waste of a day honestly...
Grade 2 - no test. Sandro's Georgian Boy Shit is getting out of control. but he's a boy. so everyone
giggles because he's soooo funny. ugh. little shits become little shits the same way
everywhere...
anyhoo. reviewed clothing from last time and talked a lot about it. read dialogue.
4.30.2014 Wednesday
Grade 1 - really good day! 10 mins of them gabbing at start.
fox, box, fog, dog, log. worked in WB - didn't get underlining names and circling capital
letter --> fucking rough to explain.
Grade 4 - ugh. my head. adverbs. ow.
Grade 2 - none of them (except 3) had books since it's some sort of holiday?
reviewed clothes, and played "what are they wearing" game rest of time.
5.2.2014 Friday
Grade 5 - No Lamara today, so no class.
*Actually no classes at all, since 3rd grade got moved to fifth hour but no one told the kids so they all left....
Monday, April 28, 2014
A Story
So God has finished making the world, and all the parts in it. He calls up all the humans, and starts giving them their respective countries. The Canadians receive their sprawling tundras, the Nepalese their high mountains, Kenyans their expansive grasslands. The whole endeavor took a really long time, but at the end of the day, all the peoples of the world had their own special place.
Except for the Georgians.
They had been busy partying at a supra, and missed their turn to receive their country. Stumbling up to God hours after the fact, they apologized, and asked where they could go.
"Sorry, guys," God said. "There's no world left for you."
"Vaimeeeeeeeeee!" the Georgians drunkenly cried.
God felt bad about this, and pondered what he could do for this group of people who were oozing chacha out of their very pores. He sighed with his final decision.
"There is one small part of this world left, and I had made it for myself. And since you need your own home, and I'm God, I guess I can give you my little corner."
And God transported the supra'd Georgians to their new home, which they called Sakartvelo - or Georgia.
Except for the Georgians.
They had been busy partying at a supra, and missed their turn to receive their country. Stumbling up to God hours after the fact, they apologized, and asked where they could go.
"Sorry, guys," God said. "There's no world left for you."
"Vaimeeeeeeeeee!" the Georgians drunkenly cried.
God felt bad about this, and pondered what he could do for this group of people who were oozing chacha out of their very pores. He sighed with his final decision.
"There is one small part of this world left, and I had made it for myself. And since you need your own home, and I'm God, I guess I can give you my little corner."
And God transported the supra'd Georgians to their new home, which they called Sakartvelo - or Georgia.
Moral of the story, kids:
Get too drunk and fat at parties when you have important shit to do, and it will all work out in even better ways than you could have hoped for!
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Countdown
I've only got 39 days of school left.
58 days total until my friend Helen comes for our insane Caucasus Hilarity Fest.
86 days before I board a plane and go back home.
I'm. Freaking. Out.
Eight months in, with only two more to go, and I don't feel like I've DONE anything. Which is silly; I've seen a lot of this country, eaten most of their national dishes, almost died at least four times per marshutka ride. I've made incredible friends and can speak a ridiculously hard language in the most basic survival modes.
So I don't really know what it is that my brain wants from me, because it's not like I've been idle while here. There are just so many more places I want to see, and I feel like I'm running out of time and money to do all of them. Which is terrifying, since I don't know when I'll be able to come back here (although, according to Ani I will be visiting for three weeks every summer. So. There's that!), and I don't want to leave without having DONE everything.
"Oh, how cool! You were in Georgia? For how long?"
"Almost a year! It was wonderful!"
"I bet! Did you see this-really-cool-awesome-famous-thing-that-if-you-didn't-see-you-basically-wasted-your-entire-time-there??"
"...No. I was probably dicking around in the mountains with my friends, hitting water with sticks..."1
Not that I regret the dicking around with my friends, because they're goofy and awesome and a lot of fun is always had no matter where we are or what we do. And I keep telling myself that the next few weeks have to be low key so that when Helen gets here in June I'll have enough cash to run around and show her all the beautiful places and see the new ones I want to. Time is just marching on, and I feel like if I blink then it'll all be over and I'll be getting onto the plane at the Tbilisi airport with no picture of me doing big arms from the back of a horse with a crazy mountainous backdrop. Which cannot happen, since that has been my number one goal of my time here since I first decided to apply to this program. The whole teaching kids English was always secondary to my selfish desires of being a free mountain spirit. Or something.
So here are two lists - one of places I still need to visit, and the other comprised of things I need to buy2. I'm making these public so that I'll have some accountability in the matter, because maybe my procrastinating ass won't keep putting them off for "next week" this way.
Ha. Good one, Jo.
Places To Go!
1. Svaneti - Mestia, Ushguli.3
2. Tusheti - more crazy pretty untouched wild mountains!
3. Vardzia - big cave city of awesome!
4. Borjomi - home of the mineral water that has somehow won me over. Also a park.
5. Chiatura - if I'm going to die, it might as well be an awesome way, like a cable car line snapping over an old magnesium mining town.
6. Gremi - a super close and beautiful monastery that I've only ever driven past.
7. Lagodekhi - waterfalls and mountains and general prettiness!
Things To Buy!
1. Panduri - 3 stringed instrument of Eastern Georgia (my home!). I've decided that 2014 is the year that I stop letting string instruments outsmart me, and what better thing to learn on than a Georgian stringed instrument and YouTube videos (of which there are many!).
2. A mini book of Shota Rustaveli's The Knight In The Panther's Skin.
3. Periodic Table of Elements in Georgian. Cause it exists and it's badass looking!
4. Star Map in Georgian. Cause it's also badass.
5. Fourteen thousand packs of my favorite shitty Icecube flavored Dirol gum that loses its taste after about 45 seconds! I think the Russians put crack in it or something, because god damn if it's not all I want every day.
6. Four packs of the most perfect graph paper notebooks I've ever written in.
7. A Chinese Goosebeery cup which is so common all over this country. (No, not Gooseberry. Goosebeery.)
8. A few of the universal wine glasses - they hold exactly 100 mg, so they're incredibly useful for baking. And drinking out of.
9. Vakhtanguri horns - essential for when you link arms with a friend and down your glass of wine. Or in this case, a horn of wine.
10. Lots of chacha. Yum.
11. Even more wine. Double yum.
12. A janky film Soviet camera from the Dry Bridge Bazaar. Or a lens. Cause how cool is that??
Sorry for a pretty pointless post. My mind apparently is everywhere today thanks to five cups of coffee, so apologies for that.
But here's a picture of the puppy I'll be coming home to in 86 days!!
Meet Amelia Pond!
1. True story. That's how I spent this past weekend. In the greenest mountains I've ever seen, crawling around lush forests, and sitting next to a stream hitting the water with a stick while making dinosaur sounds. A lot of times we ask ourselves, "Georgia, what are you doing to us?" This was one such moment.
2. I use the term "need" very loosely.
3. They say that you haven't seen Georgia until you've seen Svaneti. So clearly this is a mustmustmust.
58 days total until my friend Helen comes for our insane Caucasus Hilarity Fest.
86 days before I board a plane and go back home.
I'm. Freaking. Out.
Eight months in, with only two more to go, and I don't feel like I've DONE anything. Which is silly; I've seen a lot of this country, eaten most of their national dishes, almost died at least four times per marshutka ride. I've made incredible friends and can speak a ridiculously hard language in the most basic survival modes.
So I don't really know what it is that my brain wants from me, because it's not like I've been idle while here. There are just so many more places I want to see, and I feel like I'm running out of time and money to do all of them. Which is terrifying, since I don't know when I'll be able to come back here (although, according to Ani I will be visiting for three weeks every summer. So. There's that!), and I don't want to leave without having DONE everything.
"Oh, how cool! You were in Georgia? For how long?"
"Almost a year! It was wonderful!"
"I bet! Did you see this-really-cool-awesome-famous-thing-that-if-you-didn't-see-you-basically-wasted-your-entire-time-there??"
"...No. I was probably dicking around in the mountains with my friends, hitting water with sticks..."1
Not that I regret the dicking around with my friends, because they're goofy and awesome and a lot of fun is always had no matter where we are or what we do. And I keep telling myself that the next few weeks have to be low key so that when Helen gets here in June I'll have enough cash to run around and show her all the beautiful places and see the new ones I want to. Time is just marching on, and I feel like if I blink then it'll all be over and I'll be getting onto the plane at the Tbilisi airport with no picture of me doing big arms from the back of a horse with a crazy mountainous backdrop. Which cannot happen, since that has been my number one goal of my time here since I first decided to apply to this program. The whole teaching kids English was always secondary to my selfish desires of being a free mountain spirit. Or something.
So here are two lists - one of places I still need to visit, and the other comprised of things I need to buy2. I'm making these public so that I'll have some accountability in the matter, because maybe my procrastinating ass won't keep putting them off for "next week" this way.
Ha. Good one, Jo.
Places To Go!
1. Svaneti - Mestia, Ushguli.3
2. Tusheti - more crazy pretty untouched wild mountains!
3. Vardzia - big cave city of awesome!
4. Borjomi - home of the mineral water that has somehow won me over. Also a park.
5. Chiatura - if I'm going to die, it might as well be an awesome way, like a cable car line snapping over an old magnesium mining town.
6. Gremi - a super close and beautiful monastery that I've only ever driven past.
7. Lagodekhi - waterfalls and mountains and general prettiness!
Things To Buy!
1. Panduri - 3 stringed instrument of Eastern Georgia (my home!). I've decided that 2014 is the year that I stop letting string instruments outsmart me, and what better thing to learn on than a Georgian stringed instrument and YouTube videos (of which there are many!).
2. A mini book of Shota Rustaveli's The Knight In The Panther's Skin.
3. Periodic Table of Elements in Georgian. Cause it exists and it's badass looking!
4. Star Map in Georgian. Cause it's also badass.
5. Fourteen thousand packs of my favorite shitty Icecube flavored Dirol gum that loses its taste after about 45 seconds! I think the Russians put crack in it or something, because god damn if it's not all I want every day.
6. Four packs of the most perfect graph paper notebooks I've ever written in.
7. A Chinese Goosebeery cup which is so common all over this country. (No, not Gooseberry. Goosebeery.)
8. A few of the universal wine glasses - they hold exactly 100 mg, so they're incredibly useful for baking. And drinking out of.
9. Vakhtanguri horns - essential for when you link arms with a friend and down your glass of wine. Or in this case, a horn of wine.
10. Lots of chacha. Yum.
11. Even more wine. Double yum.
12. A janky film Soviet camera from the Dry Bridge Bazaar. Or a lens. Cause how cool is that??
Sorry for a pretty pointless post. My mind apparently is everywhere today thanks to five cups of coffee, so apologies for that.
But here's a picture of the puppy I'll be coming home to in 86 days!!
Meet Amelia Pond!
2. I use the term "need" very loosely.
3. They say that you haven't seen Georgia until you've seen Svaneti. So clearly this is a mustmustmust.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Bako
Well, her name is Bako now. Two weeks ago, when she wandered into our house, I was calling her "little dog" or "scrappy face."
It all started out innocently enough. When I first found her on our couch, I was home alone and heard a weird noise in our sitting room, kind of like a yippy whine. And that's when I saw her curled up on the cushions. I'd wondered a lot of times if my family had ever had a stray dog come into the house since we just leave the door open in the day when we're home. That query has now been answered, and it is yes - stray dogs can just wander in if they so fancy.
I brought her outside, and we ended up playing a bit in the courtyard once she stopped cowering out of fear because of the whole me being a human thing. I figured that she would be a one day visitor - a transient in our backyard, just like the little black dog from January was, and who the mangey pointer mix who roams around the neighborhood is. But the next day when I left to go to school, this little mutt came bounding over, and walked me to the gate. When I got home she crashed into my legs, tail wagging happily. The day after was the same. This dog stuck around the house, and has become our own ardent defender, barking at people down by the riverbed behind the house, and chasing birds, cats, and even the hens from nextdoor who wander into our garden.
Or, should I say, she did try to frequently sneak into. Until yesterday.
Yesterday, my host mother returned home to another pair of chewed slippers. Bako has the unfortunate [puppy] habit of gnawing on things, particularly shoes that are just left outside the front door, which is where my family just happens to leave most of theirs. I suppose the third pair of outdoor shoes was the last straw, so my mom got a belt. I was unaware of the previously mentioned chewed slippers, so I was really happy to see that the family was finally embracing this little puppy, and was giving her a collar of her own! I figured an old belt, one that no one cared about, would be the perfect puppy collar if you poked a hole in it at the right place and cut the excess down!
Only, that's not what happened.
My host mom left the long bit of the belt and tried to use it as a leash. Bako has a tendency of cowering down and not moving if you pay direct attention to her while you are walking, so onto her belly she went, and was essentially dragged across the yard. Not in a malicious way or anything, but still it was pretty jarring to see. My mom then got a long piece of old electrical wire we're not using anymore and looped it through one of the belt holes, tying this to a tree by our wood pile.
And at least Bako is better off than my friend Chris's dog Maximus, who has a broken leg (from being hit by a fucking car) that's never healed so he can't walk on it. This dog was also, over Thanksgiving, shot or stabbed or something, which is where he got this nice little gaping wound from. He's still alive and kicking, happily living his life which is full of chasing cars down the street and trying to hump every dog in the Akhmeta district. So I mean, shit could be worse.
This is the easiest solution to the problem of a stray dog coming into the house and serial eating your slippers and shoes.
The second easiest solution is to not leave the front door of your house wide open, and keep your shoes inside. But this house runs cold, and keeping the door open in the day helps get some warm air inside. So I get why my family doesn't want to have the door closed. And as far as the shoes being outside, I think this is just a habit that they don't want to give up, because in winter we kept all our shoes right by the door inside no problem.
The third easiest solution is to get a screen door, or a gate. But again, this is assuming the capital to do either of those things, and while my family is pretty well off I don't think a screen door to keep a stray dog out from their house is seen as a wise investment. Even if it is, but whatever. Their house, their decisions.
I wish I could be more bent out of shape about this, but every time I try to write something expressing my indignation I remember where I am and I just can't keep it on the page.
This country, like most developing places - I won't say countries, because there are plenty of locations inside countries that are better off than Georgia where dogs are treated this bad or worse - doesn't have the economic hardiness to deal with humans taking care of humans, let alone humans taking care of animals in a non working or livestock fashion. And even then, I've yet to see a horse or a cow here who isn't completely shaggy and in bad need of a brush.
But pet culture just isn't a thing here. People want to say they have pets, because they see it in movies; they see the whole Western world running around in yoga pants with some purebred dog on a beach and they want that, too. They just are unable to have that idealized vision for numerous reasons - lack of understanding of dog training; lack of capital to provide the animal it's own basic needs; lack of willingness to allow something into your house which culturally is seen as either a nuisance or an outdoor worker. I've yet to meet a dog anywhere in Georgia that lives in the house. I just don't think it happens all that much, especially in the smaller towns and villages.
So I understand all of it. But that doesn't mean I have to agree with it.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Commie Fun Park
I had a pretty surreal afternoon on Saturday. My friend Christine and I ventured up to the Mtatsminda park, which is a theme park of sorts that sits on top of one of Tbilisi's hills. It's accessible one of two ways - a bus which takes you way round the back of the hill and steadily up, or by the funicular. What's a funicular, you ask? It's this weird railway train thing that has two cars. They are at the opposite ends of the line and, through a pulley system, counterbalance each other to take passengers either up or down.
It's actually a pretty neat thing, even if it isn't the smoothest ride. The last time I was on it was during orientation, all those months ago. Young, naive Jo was slightly alarmed at the jerky ride, the heartstopping pauses and jolts, constantly worrying that one of the cables would snap and that we would all plummet down to our deaths hundreds of feet below us.
However, since spending a little more time here, where absolutely nothing is in my control, I've become sort of a fatalist. Not that I'm hoping to die or anything, but what the hell is the point in being worried constantly about near death experiences since I can't do anything to prevent them? It's been an enjoyable time in marshrutkas since I gave up caring about how drivers liked to pass each other at absurd speeds around blind corners, and this trip up to Mtatsminda was a far more pleasant experience than it had been the first time, as well.
It's a pretty steep ascent, and that little white dot way up there is only the halfway point where there is, naturally, a church. Because Tbilisi loves its churches.
The funicular station at the top doubles as a restaurant as well, offering stunning panoramas of Tbilisi from the highest point around which you can enjoy with some beer, wine, and decent food. Upon leaving the station, you're dumped in front of a wide, gently sloped set of stairs, generously broken up by little platforms with various carnival type rides. You can also go right, and follow the ridge of the mountain where there are a bunch of game stands with very scary looking stuffed animals as prizes. The signs are super helpful for letting you know where you need to go. I'm glad that, since this is Georgia, there is of course a wedding hall in an amusement park.
There are also really creepy statues, like the one below. The more horrifying part of them, though, is the sheer size. This way-too-pleased-with-itself fat baby cherub thing is easily 15 feet tall, and is on the main entrance for the park.
Basically, if you take Disneyland, reduce the budget of it by millions of dollars, and add 1970's Soviet vibe to it, you'll have the decor of this park.
There's also a pretty decent looking roller coaster, but it wasn't running on Saturday. Underneath the coaster, in a concrete space reminiscent of a parking lot, is the Go-Kart track. Georgian Go-Karts are apparently just small four-wheelers. And there are only two of them. Don't worry, though. You get a helmet for the ride, too! Or at least I think you do. There were two of them off to the side at least, so they might have just been for decoration. Like the roller coaster above, the Go-Karts were also not operational.
There's also a little roller coaster for children, and we of course had to ride that. We wanted to ride the big coaster, dammit, and since that was closed, this kiddy one (called the "Happy Train," just by the way) would have to do! Who cares if we were the oldest people on the ride with no youngsters of our own, and who cares if we were laughing like complete goobers the whole time, and putting our hands up on the hills that were only a five foot drop. We were having fun, dammit! Which is more than we can say about all the actual children on the ride, most of whom were just staring straight ahead and weren't smiling or giggling or giving any indication of fun-havingness. The only reaction on any of them was one girl at the very front of the train who was unafuckingmused by us, and spent the entire time glaring at the two idiotic Americans cackling in the back cart.
Christine was most excited to do the Bumper Cars, so as we were on our way out of the park we stopped by. And of course, given our location, it couldn't just be normal Bumper Cars. No. There had to be furries on them. We hypothesized that this is what bored carnies are apt to do when days are slow. They had their costume heads over on the side, and stayed in the cars for consecutive rides. I guess when your job is "Be A Dog That Gives Balloons To Screaming Children," riding the Bumper Cars endlessly and for free is a perk.
We ended our little afternoon up at Mtatsminda grabbing a beer and some snacky foods, all the while making our own version of Cards Against Humanity: Georgian Edition. Christine and I spent most of the day in the park laughing ridiculously hard and having an insane amount of goofy fun and, judging by the wi-fi password for the restaurant, Mtatsminda thinks we're just as good of a time!
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