Stop being such a Diva!

This is going to be kind of a weird post, so I’m going to hide it and you can click and read at your discretion.

Men, and women that don’t feel like reading it, today’s topic is about periods. Sorry! But I am on a crusade to help women everywhere in dealing with that stupid time every month where we want to burn the world down while stuffing our faces with chocolate! Especially for girls who are going to be travelling a lot, and haven’t thought about this particular issue yet, I’m hoping this can be a helpful point of view!

When Georgia finally became a more tangible thing, I started wondering how the hell I was going to deal with shady plumbing and that annoying time of the month. It seemed ludicrous to carry around an entire suitcase devoted to tampons, so I turned to an ex Peace Corps volunteer friend to ask what she suggested, given my best idea at the time was going on the NuvaRing for birth control and just leaving it in for like three months at a time. She said when she was in Africa that she took to using the Diva Cup, and that I should definitely look into that.

Now, when she told me this, my first reaction was laughing. I’ve found the concept of these menstrual cups hilarious for a long time, so the fact that this was a serious suggestion made me giggle. My second reaction was to be ridiculously grossed out. I mean, it’s kind of a disgusting concept, getting all up in your lady bits when your body is doing its thing like that. However, the more research I did on the matter, the more practical it sounded.

You spend $40 on the thing, and it lasts up to 10 years. Considering a box of tampons (which I have been peeking around in Georgian pharmacies to see if they have them, and they so don’t!!) is like $8, multiply that by 12, by 10, and you’re looking at a shitload of money. On tampons alone! That’s over a thousand dollars all to plug yourself up with a crappy piece of cotton that’s full of weird ass chemicals and could also, potentially, kill you! The fuck, America?! Additionally, you don’t have to mess with it more than two or three times a day, since it’s got a pretty decent capacity. But wait! There’s more! There is a 0% chance of getting Toxic Shock Syndrome. Like none. Zip. Zero. Zilch.

So onto the next logistical thing – messiness. I have to say, after giving the disposable cups a try, and having them be fairly hilariously accident prone, using the Diva Cup is completely unlike them, and is basically a godsend. There’s nothing to grab onto with the disposables – they have a flimsy piece of cellophane-like material that you end up trying to grab and it just is not conducive to trying to move liquid around in any kind of clean fashion. The Diva Cup is more solidly built, meaning there’s actually a part you can hold and ensure that none of the contents will spill. Also, due to its more solid construction, there’s only one way it fits, thus preventing leaks. My favorite part of it, though, is the cute little carrying bag that comes with it!

I seriously cannot praise this thing enough. I hate periods, and have actually planned trips around my level of wanting to deal with being a breeding age human while running around the woods having fun. And while I’m pretty lucky in that I don’t really PMS or get cramps or anything, I still am annoyed by the whole menstruating thing. But no mas! I have this little cup, and it’s pretty much a badass, and he and I will be together for a while.

…Yes I realize how weird it is that something called a Diva Cup that gets all up in my business has a gender. No I do not care. I anthropomorphize everything. It’s my bit.

Anyway! Ladies! If you’re thinking about trying it out, but decide to try the disposable cups before actually committing to a $40 investment, just remember that the disposables are 50 times worse than the actual Diva Cup is. I would say just cut the middle man altogether and go buy one. It’s low maintenance, reusable, can’t get TSS from it, and is actually way more hygienic than tampons are.

Well there we go. You now know probably way more than you ever wanted to about this particular facet of my life. However, as I said before, I think it’s important for people who are going overseas to think about this kind of stuff, and be able to make informed and well thought out decisions about how they’ll deal with this problem. So if I can at least provide insight for a single person, then I consider it a job well done!