I finally got a response from Georgia! I sent them my background check over two weeks ago, and just touched base with them to let them know I needed to change my airports when I got this back:
So I guess it's a yes? Is it safe to get excited about it? Cause I'm a little bit wary. I know their last email was just as vague, saying "You've made the short list of applicants, all we need now is your completed background check and we will send you your contract." But where is the harm in just confirming I'm in? Is a straight answer so bad? Is this a soft yes and barring someone better coming along late in the application process I won't get kicked?
The 15th is their cut off date for applicants wishing to leave in August. So there still is time for them to say "On second thought, we're going with this other person! Sorry!" But the "will send" in there kind of sounds like it's a definite acceptance. I don't know! I don't know, and I hate it, and all I've done since I got this is alternate between spazzily freaking out to my sister and friend about how I'm so happy to go and then backtracking and questioning it and my future and life in general. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get stabbed by some parties in Michigan and California...
Referring back to my post about superstition, I'm very, highly, ridiculously, stupidly apprehensive to feel slightly happy about this, despite the fact that I am actually quaking with excitement and all I want to do is tell everyone I meet, stranger or friend, that I am FINALLY going to be able to go to Georgia!
I've started updating my packing list again, which is just an Excel sheet to figure out how much money I have to budget on trip items. Thankfully, I've added many more practical things to it, like long underwear, a pair of sturdy sandals, a first aid kit - things that will, you know, make my life easier while overseas. The first items originally on it were three different types of Moleskine notebooks (I already have one of these but lovelovelove it so why not get a second; one that I actually bought the other day cause I was stoked I found it in a store and I was impulsive; the last kind just because it is awesome and I am a notebook whore), a 35mm 1.8 lens for my Nikon, a bomb ass Swiss Army Knife!, and, finally, a super sweet camera bag. And after those things were placed into their little A Column cells, I got a massive brain freeze. I literally could not think of anything else I needed for a year abroad. Now, none of these are remotely useful for survival in a foreign country (except for the wicked cool Swiss Army Knife!), particularly one that lacks central heating and has water with microbes that my gut is way not used to dealing with. So I had to stop and approach this from a very Darwinian angle. Subsequently, the list has grown considerably since becoming pragmatic about it and asking myself what I actually need for my continued aliveness - go figure!
I know what you're thinking. "Jobags, isn't your list a direct defiance of your apprehension and superstition, since it's kind of implying a stable plan and success in a desire?" Oh, it totally is. It's a blatant transgression, actually. But I am trying to not let my life be ruled by my silly head anymore, because a lot of times it makes me wig for no good god damn reason. This list is a baby step in ensuring that I can, one day, get over it and take things at face value without questioning it 30 million times. That email was 18 words long. How many subtle nuances are in there? The answer is a lot of them, especially if you're a think-the-worst type of person like I am. But all that mindset has ever done is make me feel insane, so I'm trying to stop. Most people use drugs for this kind of shit, so I'll just make spreadsheets. Lots and lots of spreadsheets. That, and the trusted Andronis Sister remedy of closing ones eyes, plugging ones ears, and saying "lalalalalalalalala" really loudly. Cause if I can't see it or hear it, it's not real, right?
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